i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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