I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
