'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i came on her dog
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
