and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
