If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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