If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
