I will die if light touches me.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Randomize
