He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
