So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
The struggles of a small town man whore
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize