Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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