I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
