I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Randomize
