Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
