someone threw a dead crab at me
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
