We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
