I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
