I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
