i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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