when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
