well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize