scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
