So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
