True but thats because hes a fetus.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
