He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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