It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize