I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
