I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
