He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Can you repeat that, but with context?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
