what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
where am i from again
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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