Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
