I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
