if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
In America we eat man semen.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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