She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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