At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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