I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
