Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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