You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Randomize
