Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
