Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
