I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
