Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
