I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
