I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Thank you for not boning my boss.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
