I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
