do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Randomize
