is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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