Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
