OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Is it penis luge time yet?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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