wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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