On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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