If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
