Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
