The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
