how can u be prego again
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
