He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
