Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
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