Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
