just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Holy shit dude........stairs
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
