ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Randomize
