He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
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