She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
