??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Randomize
