We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
