I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
