I saw his package. It spoke to me.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
