So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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