I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
