Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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