I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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