there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize