its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
