Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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