She is in my trunk
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
