remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
