This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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