You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
