We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
