The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
